Because I love you
by CSIflea
Summary: Grissom comes back to win Sara back and get a second chance. When something happens, will it be too late for them? Will it be too late for him?
1. Chapter 1

**Heya! I know I haven't been writing and I hope that you won't kill me for keeping you waiting so long. This is just how I think that Grissom would come back to Sara. I have to admit that I am not really up to date with the story (SA is a little behind), so I am making this an AU. **

**I don't own these characters, just the evil ones (obviously from Fleasia).**

The diner she was sitting in was quiet, but if you looked at the time, it wasn't that surprising. It was just after seven in the morning. Sara had just finished a very long and difficult shift, but the text she'd gotten last night were more a shock than a surprise- wasn't that the understatement of the year!

_The night before:_

_While at a crime scene, her phone chirped, signalling a text. Taking off her gloves, she checked her phone, thinking it was Hodges giving her the results of her case. Opening it, she almost fell over. Something must have shown on her face, because Russell asked her if she was ok. The text was from the one and only Gil Grissom, telling her to meet him in a diner the next morning. After, that the whole night was a blur. Questions flew through her mind…_

_When did he come back?_

_Why didn't he tell her?_

_The biggest of all, Why was he here?_

_She wanted to ask all those questions, and she tried to phone him, repeatedly. He never answered, the call going straight to voice mail. The whole night, she phoned whenever she had a chance, all the while making sure nobody was around. This wasn't something she wanted to share. She knew that Nick and Greg would be happy to see Grissom again and Brass and Al would be over the moon, but he didn't answer his phone. After her shift, she quickly went home to change, hoping that he would be there and silently praying that he wouldn't. Her prayers were answered: he wasn't at the townhouse. Another question burned her mind…_

_Where was he?_

_Is he okay?_

_Did something happen?_

_They hadn't spoken for months and the decision that their marriage wasn't working had been a hard one. It didn't mean that she didn't still love him or that she didn't care. He was just so far away, and not just physically either. With these thoughts running through her head, she got in her car and started driving._

And she ended up in the diner where he told her to meet him. She played with her coffee cup; the beverage itself had gone cold a while ago and still she waited. Every time the door signalled someone entering the small diner, her heart sped up and, so far, it wasn't him. She looked at her watch and sighed. It's still too early.

Taking a sip of her cold coffee, she heard the door open and this time she didn't look up, because she knew it was early.

But his soft voice shook her to the core.

"Sara."

She looked up and was shocked at the changes in him- the biggest one being his eyes. His normally bright blue eyes were dull and pain-filled. He gestured to the empty seat across from her,

"Can I sit?" his voice was unnaturally uncertain. She nodded and studied his face while he sat down and waved at the waitress to bring him coffee, there were more lines on his face than she remembered. His hair was whiter and together with his beard, it made him look very old. Sara still couldn't find her voice. Her heart beating a mile a minute, her brown eyes searching and picking up the changes easily. Goodness knows, she spent enough time studying him while he slept.

"You look good. Did you get some sleep after work?" He asked, trying to start a conversation, she almost laughed. Grissom was never one for small talk.

"Uhm, n-no, I, uh I couldn't sleep, just went and took a shower. Was a long night." Sara stammered through her answer. Grissom gave a rueful smile, nodding his head. She was once again struck at how much weight he'd lost. His shoulders were slumped even though he was sitting up straight.

"Ask your questions, Sara. I've known you long enough to know that you have a lot whirling through that head of yours." His idea of a joke fell flat. There was no smile or chuckle. Just silence. An almost dead one.

"Why?" Sara's voice cracked one that one word.

"Oh, there are quite a few answers to that question, my dear Sara. If I start explaining, will you give me the opportunity to say what I have to, without interrupting me or walking out on me?" He searched her face as he spoke. Sara couldn't think of anything. Her brown eyes locked on his sad blue ones. She nodded and he looked relieved. She briefly wondered if he thought she would say no.

"When you came back to Vegas, I was confused. In a sense, I was angry as well. I had thought you were happy, that you enjoyed being my wife and that things were great. I had no idea…I never once thought that you didn't want to be there. When you told me about your choice, you said you needed to find yourself again, that you had disappeared. I let you go and convinced myself that it was the right thing to do. That our love is stronger than the long distance between us. As the months went by, I started to become painfully aware of the gap. I started to realize that you were what I needed. Once again I was at a cross-roads. You seemed happy here and you were doing well. I could not be so selfish as to ask you to come back to me. So I left it. My second biggest mistake." He stopped, swallowed and then took a sip of cold coffee. Sara wondered how long he had sat working up the courage to talk to her, how many times he had written out what he wanted to say only to scratch something out and start over. She wondered how many quotes were written down somewhere while he couldn't find his own words to say what he meant. She was broken out of her thoughts, first by the door signalling another person coming in, and secondly that Gil's body posture changed as he sat forward, leaning his forearms on the table. He looked around at the door and waved at the waitress for another cup of coffee. She looked up as well and noticed the new arrivals were two young guys standing by the counter. She thought that it was odd that they both were wearing hoodies in the Las Vegas heat, but Gil chose that moment to start talking.

"The last time we spoke you were talking about getting a divorce. I probably lived up to my legend of being oblivious, because I did not see that coming. Thinking about it, I should have seen it coming. I was too occupied with my own things rather than keep your life in mind as well. After careful thought and a lot of internal debates, I came to the conclusion that I need to do something. I need to either let you go or fight for you. That is why I'm here. I don't want the best thing that has ever happened to me, slip through my fingers just because I was too much of an egotistical asshole to do anything about it. So, Sara, I'm here to try and win you back. To show to you that our love is strong and worth fighting for. I came to ask you for another chance to prove how much I love you. If you tell me now that you don't want to, I'll walk out and you can go on with your life. All I ask then is that you be happy and not contact me again. But if you are willing to give me that chance, I will make it up to you."

Sara sat staring at him, at a loss for words. She had no idea he still felt this strong. She had always told herself that this separation might be what he wanted; he had never tried to stop her. Grissom's face showed fear and even a little relief. Her thoughts flew through her mind, could she do it? It was worth it. She was never as happy as when she was with Grissom. If he was willing to try again, shouldn't she meet him halfway?

She must have been quiet for a while, because she suddenly heard Grissom sigh. She looked back up and saw his eyes brimming with tears; he swallowed again and took a deep breath. He cleared his throat.

"I waited too long. I'm sorry, Sara. I should have done something sooner. I wish you happiness and..." He stopped, his voice cracking and Sara's heart broke a little more. After all the years that she knew Grissom- it always amazed, and even frightened her a little, how deeply he felt. He mistook her silence as refusal and she silently cursed herself. By his own admittance, Gil was never very good at relationships and goodness knows, she wholeheartedly agreed, but this was a whole new level for them both.

"Gil, I…" she started to say, but she was interrupted by a loud voice.

"Nobody move!"

The young thug that had come in earlier was holding his gun in the air while his friend waved a knife. Sara looked at Grissom, his face was neutral, but after years of knowing him, she could see the fear and worry in his eyes. She reached for his hand and he gripped it tightly.

"Hey! You there! Stand up and walk to the front, slowly. Hands where I can see them!" The thug with the gun screamed.

Sara stood up and moved to the front, Grissom copying her movements, but letting her go first. All of a sudden her phone rang. The diner went quiet, everybody froze. Then the young guy with the gun pointed it at her and time stood still. Sara closed her eyes; she heard the gun go off and waited for the pain to hit. Suddenly she heard a shout that sounded like 'oh shit!' and then she was on the floor. What just happened?

"Sara? Are you ok?" She opened her eyes to see the concerned blue eyes looking down at her. How did he get on top of her? She thought, I don't remember that happening.

"Y-y-yeah, I uh I t-t-think so. But I think he missed," she said as she made a move to get up.

"No, no he didn't miss." Sara looked at Grissom and his face seemed to change right in front of her. His eyes became pain-filled, his cheeks lost all colour. He moved to one side to let her get up and as soon as she was out from under him, he fell back down with a pained grunt.

"Gil!" Sara shouted. She moved to her knees and sat next to him. He was lying on his stomach, a blood pool rapidly growing around him. She searched his back and found the entry point on his shoulder. She quickly removed her jacket and pressed down, ignoring his groan of pain. She looked around at the shocked faces, the young thugs were nowhere to be seen. Then, everybody started talking all together. The waitress shakily called 911.

"Can I help?" a young woman asked and Sara nodded as she took over holding pressure on the wound. Sara grabbed her phone that had fallen to the floor and speed-dialled Brass.

"Brass," came the rough answer.

"J-Jim, I n-need help." Sara said her voice catching on every word.

"Sara? What's going on?"

"Gil, Gil was shot at the diner…"

"Whoa, Grissom? Sara, what's going on?" Brass asked again.

"Gil came to see me; we were at a diner that was robbed and, oh fuck, Jim they shot at me and he took the bullet!" Sara said as she started to cry.

"Ok, I'm on my way. Which diner?" He asked.

"Mandy's."

"Be there soon." And the line clicked off.

Sara turned her attention back to Grissom and saw his half lidded eyes staring up at her.

"Oh, Gil. I love you; please I want to try again, too. Don't leave me, please. Just hang on." She kissed his hand and she saw a faint smile around his lips.

"T-this i-is h-how…..much I love you…" his voice croaked and his eyes closed. Sara's tears were streaming down her cheeks.

The sirens were heard approaching the diner- things were going to be just fine now.

**So what do you think? Should I leave this as a one shot or continue? It's all up to you guys..**

**Please keep in mind, and those that have read some of my other stories will know, I am not a very good fluff writer. I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. Other stories will be updated soon (hopefully). Thanks to C. Nicole for her work and patience.**

**Till next time, Flea.**


	2. Chapter 2

**By popular demand, chapter TWO… enjoy**

When Brass arrived at the scene a couple of minutes after Sara had phoned him, what he saw stunned him. Sara was standing with her arms wrapped around herself like he'd seen her do a hundred times before. She was staring down at something on the ground.

He ran closer, showed his badge (not that he needed to, everyone knew him) and came to a dead stop as he saw the blood on the floor and on Sara's clothes. Evidence that she had been crying was not in the red, puffy eyes; no it was in the red blood marks on her cheeks as she had wiped the tears away. As he stood there, he followed her eyes to where two paramedics were frantically working. Brass couldn't see who they were working on, but a cold feeling settled in his stomach as he recalled Sara's frantic call to him a few minutes before. It couldn't be Grissom on the floor, could it? It's impossible, Grissom wasn't in Vegas, and he was in Paris. Right?

The shoes of the man on floor gave away his identity. The same brown loafers he had seen on Grissom's feet countless times in the many, many years they had been friends.

Brass finally moves over to where Sara stood and she looked at him with so much fear and sadness in her brown eyes that it almost brought him to his knees.

"He took a bullet for me, Jim," Sara said in a broken voice and tears started trailing down her cheeks again. It was only then that he saw her bloodstained hands and as if she read his mind she brought her hands up and stared at them.

"I tried to stop the blood, I tried, but it came too fast," Sara said, still breathing hard.

One paramedic jumped up and ran out the door, only to return a few seconds later with a gurney which they loaded the injured man on carefully. Brass was seeing his long-time friend for the first time and just like Sara scant hours before, he was shocked by the change. The most shocking was the pale face- the blood on the shirt a close second. As the paramedics pushed the gurney past him, he stopped one of them and asked where they were taking Grissom.

"Desert Palm; it's the closest." Was the answer. Brass looked once more to the pale face and was surprised to see blue eyes looking back at him.

"What a way to make an entrance, buddy," Brass quipped and saw a small flicker of a smile before his friend was pushed away. Sara followed them and climbed in the ambulance before the door was closed.

Brass smiled at the detective taking statements, waved goodbye and walked to his car. As much as he wanted to take this case, his friends needed him and that's where he would be. He'd call Al, Nick and Greg when he knew more about what was going on and why Grissom was in Vegas, though he had a pretty good idea. He started the car and pulled away.

CSI LV

Sara held on to Grissom's hand for dear life. Every time the ambulance went over a speed bump he'd squeeze her hand to the point where she was sure that she'd have bruises. That didn't matter though, what mattered was that Grissom was here, he wanted to try again, to try and save their marriage. He was willing to walk away if she didn't want to, but by all that was good and pure in this world, she had waited almost ten years for him to come to his senses, they had finally married and moved away from Vegas. Then she had come back, without him. She waited for him to follow, to fight and yes, she wanted him to declare his love for her again. Instead they had drifted apart, and then an entire ocean had separated them and still neither made the effort. Until, he set her free. For her own good he had said, and she just accepted.

What if she had told him, that she wanted him with her? That he was the only good thing for her? She wondered now if her plan was such a good strategy. She knew he sucked at people skills and he was even worse when it came to relationships. His track record spoke for itself.

And now he was here, in Vegas, in an ambulance because he took a bullet for her. To prove how much he loved her. She didn't know whether she should be angry or happy, pissed off with him or fall in love with him again. She shifted her eyes from their entwined hands to his way too pale face and saw those beautiful blue eyes staring at her. She smiled, and leaned in as close as she could to whisper in his ear.

"I love you way more than this. I'd love to try again, but first we need to sort some things out. You just need to get better first, okay?" She sat back and gripped his hand tighter. She felt him squeeze her hand weakly and nod ever so slightly. His eyes closed and his hand went limp in her's. She started to panic. The paramedic started shouting things she would have understood on a normal day, but this day was far from normal and Sara had this funny feeling that it was far from over. Her thoughts were interrupted when the ambulance came to a stop and the door's opened. She stayed seated until the gurney carrying her unconscious husband was pushed inside. By the time she caught up to them, they were entering a trauma room and she was stopped by nurse.

She was shown to the waiting room and told that a doctor would come see her soon. Unfortunately she knew from experience that soon could mean anything from a couple of minute to a whole lot of hours. She sat down heavily on a hard plastic chair and waited. She had no idea how long she had been waiting, when a steaming cup of coffee was waved in front of her face. She looked up and smiled gratefully as she took the cup from Brass.

CSI LV

When Jim Brass arrived at the hospital, he had gone through many theories and scenarios of what could have gone wrong on such a beautiful day. He parked his car and ran in. The very bored-looking lady at the reception desk told him that there was no news, but that he could wait with the lady in the waiting room. He walked up to the waiting room and saw Sara sitting in one of those uncomfortable chairs. She looked exhausted and lost. He turned on his heel and headed for the cafeteria. They were both going to need the caffeine.

He came back a little while later to find her in the exact same spot where he had seen her before he went to get the coffee. He walked up to her and waved the cup in front of her face. It was time to get some answers.

"So, care to tell me what happened?" He asked softly.

"Grissom called me during shift last night. He wanted to meet me for breakfast. I agreed and after discussing where and when we'd meet, the phone went dead," Sara began softly. "I tried to phone him back, but he didn't answer. The whole night, Jim, the whole night I tried without hearing anything from him again." She looked up at Brass, fresh tears in her eyes. She was pleading with him to understand. He nodded and put his arm around her shaking shoulders.

"It's ok, honey, take your time," He said. Brass was never any good with consoling somebody else, but Sara wasn't anybody else, she was like a daughter to him.

"When I met him this morning, he explained why he let me come back. Why he didn't follow. He begged for a second chance, he said everything that I wanted to here. You know, he even said that he would leave me alone, if I wanted to go through with the divorce. He wouldn't fight it. I was about to tell him that I think we deserved a second chance when two young guys tried to rob the diner. One guy had a gun, the other a knife. The one with the gun told us to go to the front, Grissom was right behind me; he had my hand in his. Then my phone rang and the guy freaked out. He shot. I can't remember what happened after that. I can't even tell you how Gil ended in front of me, taking the bullet in the back." She paused and took a breath before continuing, "The guys ran, Gil was on the floor bleeding and I called you. I didn't know who else to call, Jim."

"Shh, it's ok. I'm glad you called me," Brass said soothingly all the while rubbing his hand over her arm.

"And you know what he did?" Sara started to get angry, "he asked if I was ok?! He had just taken a bullet and he was worried over me?!" She was practically screaming now.

"Calm down, Sara. You know that Griss loves you more than anything in the world, of course he was worried about you," Brass said.

"He said that this is how much he loves me," Sara told Brass. Her anger gone, replaced by love and realization. Brass was speechless. He knew Grissom had a mysterious streak, and a warped sense of humour, taking a bullet for someone was not something he saw the entomologist do. Before he could answer Sara, the door to the waiting room swung open and it revealed a doctor dressed in scrubs.

"Family of Gil Grissom?"

**Thanks to all the wonderful reviews. I was going to leave this as a one-shot with an open ending, but the response was too good to just let it go and now that I know where I want to go with this story, I can continue with it.**

**Thanks to my wonderful beta, C. Nicole, who puts up with my weird and irregular chapters and postings!**

**I don't own anything about the show, except of course those horrible bad guys and the story line (both of which are visiting from Fleasia). Please leave a review and let me know what you think.**

**Till next time,**

**Flea**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the long wait, we had test series at school and I had a LOT of papers to mark. Hope it's worth it….**

"Family of Gilbert Grissom?" A bored looking guy in a white lab coat suddenly asked from the door.

"That's us," Sara said, standing up and moving towards the man.

"I'm sorry, I have to ask, but what's your relation?" the man asked, not looking sorry at all.

"I'm his wife, and this is his best friend," Sara answered in a tone she normally reserved for murderers, a sure sign that her patience was wearing thin.

"I'm Doctor Jack Ash, I am treating your husband," the man introduced himself. "Can we go somewhere a little more private?" he asked glancing at Jim.

Sara's patience had run out.

"Oh, for fuck's sake! Will you just tell me what's going on with my husband or so help me God, I will shoot you!" Sara shouted at the doctor. She felt Jim's hand on her shoulder, but the last couple of hours had taken their toll on her. She looked at the doctor with a glare that could wilt flowers.

"There is no need to shout, ma'am. I'm just following protocol here," Doctor Ash actually looked offended.

Jim looked at Sara and when he saw the look on her face, he decided to take over before the waiting room turned into a crime scene.

"Look, doctor," Jim spoke up just as Sara took a deep breath for another tirade, "we are tired and we really want to know what's going on with Gill. Now are you going to tell us or should we go and find someone more capable of talking to us."

The doctor stared at Jim; there was no mistaking the fire in his eyes or the underlying threat to his words.

"It's too early to say whether he will make a full recovery or not. The bullet went straight through the scapula and imbedded in the shoulder muscle. Mr Grissom..." Doctor Ash started, but was cut off by a very angry Sara.

"Doctor Grissom," she said with gritted teeth.

"OK, Doctor Grissom will have a lot of physical therapy in his future to help regain some form of function in his arm. He lost a lot of blood and there might some brain damage because he stopped breathing on the way here, so we will have to wait for him to wake up," the doctor finished.

"I want to see him," Sara said, tears in her eyes.

"I would prefer it if you wait before you see him. There are some tests we need to perform and I don't want anyone to be in the way," Doctor Ash turned to walk away.

"Ok, let me rephrase," Sara began, her eyes flashing, "I demand to see him and then I want another doctor."

Just then an older man came walking up to the group.

"Excuse me, I'm Doctor Berndt. I was the surgeon that worked on your husband. Let me take you to see him, a friendly face might help him wake up sooner. In the meantime, Doctor Ash, I'm sure you have other work to do," the older man looked to the other doctor, who left with a sigh.

"I'm sorry about his behaviour, he's new and I think his people skills are seriously lacking. My theory is that he watched House too much when he was younger," Doctor Berndt said with a smile as they were walking down the passage.

"Thank you, I almost shot him," Brass said and the tense atmosphere was broken as they reached the door.

"That would have given me more work to do, but I like the idea," the doctor stepped aside. "There you go Mrs Grissom, talk to him, sometimes it helps." With that the doctor left the pair alone.

"Jim, I'm scared," Sara said, her eyes locked on the figure on the bed.

"Go to him, kid, bring him back to us," Jim pulled her into a hug. "After he wakes up, you worry about the rest. I'm gonna go call the boys and Russell to tell him you won't be in."

"I don't want to have that conversation, Jim. Nick and Greg were even more pissed off than I was," Sara sighed.

"I'll deal with them, you go to your man in there," he said motioning to the room. With that he turned around and made his way back to the waiting room, Sara watched him go and with a deep breath steeled herself and walked into the room.

CSI LV

_Ring Ring_

"Robbins,"

"Hey Al, its Jim. Uhm, can you come to Desert Palms? Sara's here with Grissom."

"What?!"

"Please just get here; I'll explain everything when you get here"

"Ok then, see you soon,"

_Click_

_Ring Ring_

"Sanders"

"Hey, Greg, can you come to Desert Palm?"

"Brass? Sure what's wrong?"

"Sara's here….with Grissom"

"I'll be there soon,"

_Click_

_Ring Ring_

"Stokes"

"Nick, its Brass. Can you come to Desert Palm?"

"Yeah, I'm on my way, what's going on? A new case?"

"No, at least I don't think so. Sara's here with Grissom. I'll explain when you get here."

_Click_

CSI LV

Sara sat down next to the bed and took in her husband's pale features. It seemed as if his gaunt face was highlighted by the stark white pillow. It then occurred to her that these last couple of months she hadn't thought of him as her husband; no, to her he was Grissom. These last couple of hours had made her think though, and as she sat in that hospital room, she thought of all the things she loved about the injured man. All the things that made her fall in love with him in the first place.

She remembered the first time they had met in San Francisco. She kept asking him questions, but it was more to keep him talking than it was for her to get answers. She loved the sound of his voice. The coffee afterwards was just the cement to the foundation of her love for this enigma of a man.

The emotions he felt so deeply, but shared so rarely came to mind- the determination to solve cases, the right way, regardless of the consequences even if he got suspended. His compassion when working with kids, his anger towards those cases or rather the guilty party in those cases. The love he has for his kids, even if none of them are biological. Nick and Greg will always be his kids, no matter how experienced they got or what they thought of Grissom.

Grissom always seemed in control, regardless of the situation. The only time, Sara had ever seen Grissom even remotely vulnerable was _that_ day in his office. He was in his undershirt because Warrick's blood was all over his clothes. Even then he just held on to Sara. It was only the next day in the shower that she heard him cry and just the sound broke her heart. When he found her in the jungle, he was defeated. Depressed was another thing she had never thought she would see in Grissom. They got married and went to Paris and things were good for a while, so where did they go wrong? What changed? Goodness knows she still loved him and he said that he still loved her.

Just then her thoughts were interrupted by a groan coming from the bed.

"Gil?"

"S-Sara?" His voice was barely above a whisper.

"I'm here, the doctor's on his way,"

"You stayed, you really stayed," he had a weak smile on his pale face.

"Yeah I did, and I'm not going anywhere," Sara said and after giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, moved aside to let the nurses have access.

For the first time since the phone call, she felt that things would be relatively okay.

CSI LV

"Jim!"

Brass heard his name and turned to face the newcomer. Jim Brass was never one to be speechless; he always had something to say. Granted his punch lines were never as effective as Grissom's, but his came a close second. So why was he speechless now? The newcomer was followed by Nick Stokes and Greg Sanders. Al Robbins came to a stop in front of Jim; the confused expression on his face was mirrored by his two companions, but with added anger. Brass knew the two younger men was angry at Grissom for what he had put Sara through, the two older men had reserved comment, both because they knew Grissom and because they also knew that there were two sides to every story.

"What's going on Jim?" Nick wanted to know. His eyes flashed with anger. "We get a phone call to meet you here and the only thing that you tell us is that it involves Sara and Grissom. Then Russell calls and says that Sara was involved in an armed robbery."

"Sara was meeting Grissom at the diner where the robbery took place earlier this morning. Grissom got shot and now we're here," Brass said, not wasting anytime with small talk.

"Grissom's here. Is that son of a bitch coming to mess with Sara again?" Nick asked his anger clear on his face.

"Nick," Al said softly, "let Jim explain." Doc Robbins turned to Brass. "Please explain what exactly what's going on."

"The only thing I know is that Grissom came back to try and prove to Sara that he still loves her and maybe get a second chance. They were meeting in the diner before it got robbed. I'm not sure what happened, but somewhere along the line, Sara's phone rang and one of the thugs shot at her. Grissom took the bullet." Brass ended with a shrug. He couldn't help, but notice that the angry look in the younger men's faces turned slightly to concern.

"Grissom was shot?" Greg asked. Jim smiled slightly. The man had always seen Grissom as a hero. He was the young man's mentor and Greg just sucked up all the knowledge Grissom gave him.

"Yeah, in his back. Sara said it happened so fast, she didn't even notice anything. I waited to phone you because I wanted to find out if he was gonna be okay," Brass said with a sigh.

"And?" Al prompted after a while.

"The bullet him high in the back. It went straight through his shoulder blade and caused major muscle damage. Besides that he lost a lot of blood and was still unconscious a while ago. Sara went to sit with him."

"Oh boy." Was all that Al said as he sat down heavily on one of the chairs. His quiet words made Jim's blood run cold.

"Al, why don't you explain it to me in layman's terms, please?" Brass asked, sitting down next to the older doctor.

"Best case scenario, with physical treatment he'll be able to use his arm with only a little bit of weakness," Doc Robbins was looking down on the floor as he spoke. Brass looked up to see the two younger men looking slightly more concerned. _Not so angry at Griss anymore, are you? _Brass thought.

"Doc, what's the worst case here?" Nick asked a slight waver in his voice.

"He could lose the use of his arm," Al said quietly.

**There you go. Thoughts? Opinions? Please review and tell me what you think. Please also keep in mind that I haven't watched the new seasons (not yet, anyway) so this story is now completely AU. **

**Thanks to my beta, C. Nicole, for her editing. She is a true warrior.**

**None of the characters from the show belong to me, though I wish they did.**

**The next chapter of The Exhibitioner is in the works and will be up soon. **

**Till next time,**

**Flea**


	4. Chapter 4

**They say you only really realize how much you need something once you've lost it.**

Sara sat next to her sleeping husband and even a day later he was still impossibly pale. She had realized just how much she still loved Grissom when there had been a possibility of him leaving her permanently. It was different when she wanted to divorce him. He was still there, physically he was still there, there would be a chance of seeing him again, of getting answers of hearing his voice again, but if he had died, there would have been nothing on this Earth left of Gilbert Grissom. He'd be gone, permanently, no chance of hearing his voice again, no chance of ever seeing him again. The weight of this realization hit Sara like a ton of bricks. She broke down crying, her body leaning forward, her head coming to rest on the edge of the hospital bed, the sounds of her broken sobs echoing through the quiet room.

CSI LV

The swim back to consciousness was a hard and painful one for Grissom. It felt like his mind had turned into a muddy pulp and the pain in his shoulder was making itself known before his consciousness was even restored. Getting closer to the waking world, he heard a sound that he's only heard once or twice before in almost 20 years. It was a horrible sound, a sound no man should ever hear. It was the sound of crying, no, sobbing. His muddy mind supplied the explanation slowly, it could only be Sara, his Sara was sobbing and he had to act.

Without thinking, he sat up, ignoring the stabbing pain that momentarily stole his breath, the monitors screaming as they were ripped off his chest, the stinging in his eyes brought by the harsh lights, none of it mattered; he had to get to Sara. He just had to get to his wife, to find out why she was crying, to find a way to comfort and soothe her. He saw her then, sitting at his bedside, her beautiful face was tear-stained and red, and her brown eyes were wide and bloodshot as she stared at him. His sudden movements were unexpected and startled her into silence.

Grissom tried frantically to get to her, his mind set on her, forgetting about his own problems.

CSI LV

"Grissom!" Sara cried as she saw him trying to get off the bed, she moved towards him and placed her hands on his shoulders, trying to get him to lie down again. She frowned as she felt the heat radiating from his shoulder.

Grissom's normally clear blue eyes were bloodshot and pain filled. Suddenly his eyes started sweeping the room, going from side to side, looking for something only he could see.

"Sara? Sara, where are you?" Grissom's voice was hoarse from disuse.

"Griss, I'm right here. Sweetheart, you need to calm down," Sara was still trying to get Grissom to settle back into the bed.

"What's going on?" a nurse asked. Sara looked at her over her shoulder. 'Where did she come from?' she thought.

"I don't know," Sara said. "He was sleeping and then he just jumped up and started trying to get up, he's not listening to me."

"Ok, just keep talking to him, maybe you'll get through to him," the nurse turned to one of her colleagues and said, "Go page Doctor Berndt, he should still be here." The younger nurse nodded and rushed out the door while the one that spoke to Sara stayed and took readings of the monitors. Sara was just thankful that she turned off the alarms, they were driving her mad. She turned her focus back to her husband who had finally ran out of strength and stopped trying to get out of bed.

"Sara? You can't leave me. Please don't leave me," Grissom said, and to Sara's horror, tears started rolling down his cheeks.

"Shh, I'm here, Gil, I'm right here, look at me, please," Sara tried to soothe her frantic husband, with tears running down her cheeks as well.

"What's going on, Daisy?" a new voice spoke from the door. Doctor Berndt moved straight to his patient as his eyes picked up on the frantic scene on the bed. Sara tuned the nurse and doctor out while her attention was on Grissom. The last time she had seen him this helpless, was when Nick was buried and the kidnapper blew himself up without giving Grissom the location.

"Mrs. Grissom, your husband has a very high fever, we're going to try and use ice packs to bring it down before it gets too high. I'm going to need you to give us some room to work. Take a break and go to the waiting room. There is a little group of people that I'm sure will appreciate an update," the doctor spoke softly, taking Sara by the elbow and gently moving her toward the door. "We are also going to run some tests to see where this fever came from and how we're going to fight it."

"I thought he was on antibiotics," Sara said, trying to understand what was happening, her eyes still trained on her husband, who was still calling out to her.

"Yes, he was and that is why we have to figure out where this infection came from. The antibiotic he was on clearly isn't strong enough," Doctor Berndt said.

"You'll come find me when you know something?" Sara asked her voice barely louder than a whisper.

"Yes, I will, I promise, but now though you have to give us some room, okay?"

"Okay, thank you and please take care of him," Sara asked.

"I will. I have to get to your husband now, the minute I know something, I'll come find you," and with that he turned back to help the nurses with his patient.

Sara took one last look at her husband, and made her way back to the waiting room, her heart heavy and her mind exhausted. What turned out to be the beginnings of a dream come true was turning into a nightmare.

CSI LV

Sara walked into the waiting room looking as exhausted as Jim felt. He immediately stood up and pulled her into a hug. To his surprised and to those of the small group of people waiting for news, Sara just collapsed into his arms, clinging onto him as if the world depended on it.

Jim met Al's eyes over her head and the fear in the other man's eyes reflected his own. Something must have happened, something bad.

"Sara? What's wrong?" Greg was the first to break the silence as he moved closer to his friend.

"Griss…Grissom's got an infection. They're still trying to figure out where it came from, but his fever spiked a couple of minutes ago. They're gonna try and bring it down," Sara said, still clutching onto Jim for dear life. Jim just hugged her back.

"It's okay, Sara, calm down. Grissom is a fighter, he came back for you and he is not going to leave you now," Brass said, trying to get through to the woman in his arms.

"We still haven't talked; I have to tell him that I love him, that I don't want to give up. I want to give him another chance, Jim, he can't leave me now," Sara said and started crying again.

"Sara, listen to me, Gil loves you, more than his bugs and after today, you can know that he loves you more than his own life. If he can get out of his shell long enough to fight for you, then he will not let some pesky infection take him from you," Al spoke up, he had moved over to Jim and Sara and put his hand on her arm. She turned her tear filled gaze to the older man and looked for some sign that he was just saying things to make her feel better, but she just saw sincerity there. For the first time she noticed that Nick and Greg were there too.

"Doc is right, Sara," Nick spoke up and Greg nodded his agreement.

"Listen to the boys and the grandpa, Sara," Brass said, trying to get Sara to calm down and his trick worked, as a small smile appeared on her face.

"Ok, now that we have that cleared up, Sara, take a seat," Al said. "The boys will get us some coffee while Brass phones Russell to get some news on the two jackasses that shot your man." The rest of the team nodded their agreement as they moved to follow Al's orders. Sara sat down on the uncomfortable waiting room chairs and Al sat down next to her.

"So, my boy came back for his prize?" Al asked and Sara had to laugh at Al's phrase.

"Yeah, he did," Sara said looking down at her hands.

"And?" Al asked, not caring if he was nosey.

"And the minute he is lucid enough, I will kick his ass for getting himself shot and then I will kiss him so hard there will be no more doubt in his mind that I love him," Sara said.

"Good, and when you're through, it's my turn to kick his ass for letting you go," Al said with a smile.

"And when you two are done, I'll kick his ass for not telling me that he's back in town," Jim's voice came from the door.

"Any news?" Nick asked as he came back into the room with the coffee and started handing them out.

"Yeah, Russell said that they found the two little punks. They were found about three blocks away sitting in an alley and crying their eyes out," Brass said with an eye roll.

"You're kidding me right?" Greg asked.

"Nope, apparently they found the old gun in their late grandfather's attic and decided that getting a summer job was too much work, so they'd rather go and steal some cash," Brass answered.

And with that the conversation turned to some of the more stupid cases the team worked on. No one mentioned the time, but everyone was aware of the minutes as they turned into hours. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, the waiting room doors opened to reveal a very tired looking Doctor Berndt.

"Sara, I've got some results for you," his face was expressionless, but his voice betrayed the fact that the news was not good at all.

**And there we go. It took me almost a year to get my muse back and get into writing again, but it seems like my muse is back with a few more chapters and a new story or two on the horizon. I wanted to end the story with this chapter, but halfway through writing it, I got an idea and why not extend it a little more. I really hope that there are still some readers out there that enjoy this and I hope that you will let me know what you think of this chapter. **

**The recognizable characters don't belong to me, only the plot bunny does.**

**Thanks to my amazing beta, who has been a saint and extremely patient….so I was thinking, instead of an island, what do you think of having a planet being named after you? C. Nicole, you rock.**

**Till next time,**

**Flea**


	5. Chapter 5

**I currently don't have a beta, so please excuse the mistakes..**

**Sorry for the wait, I hope the nice long chapter makes up for it. Please enjoy….**

The entire group came to their feet as the doctor spoke.

"Let's take a seat," the doctor said and politely waited until everybody had taken their seat again.

Sara placed her shaking hands between her knees and took a deep breath, trying to calm her wildly beating heart. Brass saw her nervousness and quickly placed his arms around her shoulders to show his support. Sara looked up to him, gave him a quick smile and leaned into him.

"Before I begin, I need to ask if your husband is an alcoholic." Doctor Berndt asked.

"What?" Brass asked shocked.

"You see Doctor Grissom's immune system is severely compromised. That is the main reason why the infection grabbed such a quick and strong hold," the doctor said.

"Grissom is immune-compromised?" Doc Robbins asked shock evident in his voice.

"Doc? What does that mean?" Nick asked, not liking the look on the coroner's face.

"It means that his immune system isn't as strong as it's supposed to be. He'd get sick easy and if I remember correctly drug addicts and alcoholics are on the top of the list," Al explained.

"That's correct and as we didn't find any illegal drugs in his system when we did his blood work when he was admitted, we ruled that out, that's why I asked if he was an alcoholic. I apologize if I offended you, but I had to ask. We need to get his immune system back on track to help him fight this infection. Right now we are doing tests to identify the infection and we are working towards lowering his temperature. At the moment it's still dangerously high, though."

"How are you treating Gil?" Doc Robbins asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Well, right now we're using cold compresses, but if it gets higher we'll have to take more drastic measures. We'll need to give the antibiotics a chance to work and then see where to go from there. The one good thing so far is that he hasn't had any seizures and that is a good sign."

"Can I see him?" Sara asked, her voice quivering and her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"I'm afraid no," the doctor said sadly, "we need to keep a close eye on him and be prepared for anything. Give us a few hours and then you can see him." With that the doctor stood up and walked out, leaving a shocked group of people to wait again.

CSI LV

After a couple of minutes Brass gave Sara a hug and stood up.

"I'm gonna get something to eat and some coffee, I'm bringing something back for you, ok?" Brass said looking at Sara.

"Thanks Jim, but I'm not really hungry," Sara answered, giving him a weak smile.

"I know, but you have to eat something. That's why I didn't ask. Anyone want something?"

"No, thanks, Brass," Nick said still looking a little shocked.

"Can you bring me a coffee?" Greg asked.

"Sure, black with two sugars, right?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"Al?"

"I'll come with you," Al said and stood up to follow Brass out the door.

"I'm gonna phone the lab and give them an update. Hodges is threatening to come over and we can't have that," Greg said getting the desired chuckle from Sara and then left after patting her on the shoulder.

Nick came to sit down next to Sara. He placed his arms around her shoulders and she leaned into him and he could feel her thin body shake slightly.

"Did I ever tell you why I'm pissed off with Grissom?" Nick asked softly.

Sara shook her head; it was something they never really spoke about. Nick and Greg were both pissed off with Grissom, but that was without actually knowing the true story. They had thought (or so she assumed) that Grissom was the cause for the break-up and subsequent request for divorce.

"He let you go, just like that. He didn't even fight for you. After all the years the two of you danced around each other, all the obstacles you had to overcome, he just let you go. It made me angry because you are worth fighting for Sara," Nick said. He wasn't looking at her; instead he was staring at the opposite wall. Sara swallowed hard; she didn't know Nick felt this way, if she did, she would have told him that she was to blame too.

"Nick, you have to listen to me. Grissom isn't the only one to blame. When I first met him and I fell in love with him, I knew that it would not be easy. Grissom lives his life in a shell, he lives for bugs and science and the rest is just there, not important to him. I knew all of this, but I also knew he loved me and that if I cracked his shell, I would have to tread carefully. Grissom feels things deeply, Nick. He just doesn't show it. Warrick's death hit him hard. You saw it, you were here. If you want to blame someone, blame me as well," Sara said. During her little speech she had turned and was now watching Nick as he absorbed what she had said.

"But he went to Lady Heather. He didn't even talk to Jim or Doc Robbins. How can you still love him after that?" Nick asked disgust clear in his voice.

"Nick, Lady Heather and Grissom never did anything. She listened to him and saw through all his shields. He told me that he went to her, and he just slept. She comforted him. With Jim and Doc Robbins, he had to be the strong one, the reliable one. To Cath he had to be the friend she could lean on, you know how close she and Warrick was. To you and Greg he had to be the mentor, the teacher, the scientist that doesn't let life get in the way. He had to be the strict supervisor that made sure the job gets done despite the horrible tragedy. As for me, I wasn't here. I came for a while and comforted him and left him again with just a note, but even I didn't realize how hard Warrick's death hit him. Lady Heather, as much as I hate to say this, was the only one who he didn't have to pretend for," Sara said.

Nick looked at her and he could see the seriousness in her eyes and realisation hit him. For the last couple of years, he was angry that Grissom had taken Sara for granted. The woman he had always seen as a sister was being ignored and hurt by the man he saw as a father and he tried to protect her from it. He didn't see that maybe Grissom was also hurting.

"Now I feel like an ass," a voice said from the doorway, causing both Sara and Nick to look up.

"Greg?" Sara asked, not sure why he would look as guilty as he did at that moment.

"I agreed with Nick. I went as far as actually hating Grissom. For leaving, for letting you go, for leaving us behind. All of it, but what you said just now, made me think that maybe I was wrong," Greg said a little sheepishly. He had walked into the room as he was speaking and pulled a chair closer.

"It's not just Grissom, was never just him. I'll agree that he didn't make things easier, but thinking about it, neither did I," Sara sighed. "I guess after everything I just got tired of fighting for something I might never actually have. Our relationship wasn't moving, nothing happened to make me want to stay and with Griss getting the job and me just being the wife, I needed to find myself again and I just left him in Paris."

"He could have followed," Nick said stubbornly. "Look I hear what you're saying and maybe I have judged him too hard, but I still say he could have followed you back."

"I told him not to," Sara said, looking down at her hands in her lap. "When I told him I'm coming back to Vegas, I said that it would only be for a couple of months and then it became longer. We saw each other as you both know, but it wasn't enough. I didn't want to give things up and neither did he. Then the divorce came and by then things were so out of hand that it wasn't worth the fight. Or so I thought. But then he called and I saw him at the diner, Nick he was so thin and old. I've never seen him like this. The hurt in his eyes shocked me and I wanted to be angry at him, I really did, but I couldn't. I saw the man I fell in love with and still love, fall apart and even though we could play the blame game, I did that. I caused him that pain. Something I swore I would never do."

"It wasn't your fault," Greg piped up defending Sara against herself.

"I know that, Greg, but it wasn't all him either. His actions now are what matters and his sacrifice that may well cost him his life, and now I know for sure that I made the first mistake, I just hope that I have the chance to tell him."

"He came back for a second chance didn't he?" Brass asked quietly. He and Al had returned a few minutes earlier and had heard part of the conversation. Both men knew Grissom well enough or rather as well as he let anyone know him, to know that Sara was the one for him and he would do anything to have her back.

"Yeah, and I wanted to tell him that we should try again when those kids came through the doors and after that it's been one big nightmare," Sara said and then broke down crying, the stress of the last few hours getting the better of her.

Al walked over and pulled her up into a hug.

"Grissom is going to be fine, you'll see. He's come this far and he won't back down now. Besides, you can remind him that we all have a bone to pick with him when he wakes up so he'd better wake up."

The last sentence was met by a few laughs. A throat being cleared caused everyone to turn to the door where a nurse was standing with a nervous smile.

"Mrs Grissom?"

"That's me," Sara answered moving towards the door.

"Doctor Berndt said that you could visit your husband for a little while, please follow me." She turned without waiting for a reply and Sara followed quickly, sending everyone a little wave.

"Doc?" Nick asked as soon as Sara was out of ear shot.

"Yeah?" Doc Robbins answered. He'd been expecting this. He could see both younger men had questions, but for Sara's sake they held off. The little emotional conversation they had had a few minutes ago was also necessary even if it should have happened a lot earlier. He also knew that the younger guys might not actually like the answers to the questions.

"You said earlier that alcoholism and drugs are the most common reasons for immune-deficiency, right?"

"That's right. There are quite a few, but those are the most common. Why?" Al said. He kept his eyes on his folded arms on his lap, not wanting to look up. He could hear the desperate confusion in the younger man's voice, but he couldn't take the look in their eyes.

"If Grissom isn't using drugs and he doesn't drink, what caused the deficiency?" Greg asked this time and Brass had to smile. These two boys would make Grissom proud with their deductive skills.

"Neglect is one of the others along with illness or disease. Cancer could also be a cause. Using certain medications too, but those are a little rare," Al answered and finally looked up, and as he had suspected, both Nick and Greg's faces were filled with a myriad of emotions. Guilt, confusion and fear all fighting for the top spot.

Guilt because they treated (even if it was only in their minds) Grissom like he was the worst person alive, without knowing the true story.

Confusion because they weren't exactly sure how to act or what to feel; the same way they were trying to figure out what was wrong with their former boss.

Fear because regardless of anything else, they were scared to lose Grissom. He had become part of their family and whether they wanted to acknowledge it or not, he still played a part in their lives and careers.

"Well, cancer would have been picked up in the blood tests, the same with illness or disease," Nick said thoughtfully.

"Ok, we can rule out medications as well, because that would also have come up in the blood tests," agreed Greg. "That leaves neglect."

"Which doesn't really make sense," Nick said and turned to Al for an answer. It was Brass who answered, though.

"Think about it, Nick. How many times have we had to remind Grissom to eat and sleep? How many times has he worked himself halfway to collapse before any of us noticed? How many times have you or you, Greg, walked up to Sara or Catherine to get Grissom to eat or take a break?" Brass spoke quietly, but his voice was edged with a little bit of anger.

"Damn," Greg said and Nick nodded his head to agree with the sentiment.

"Grissom stopped caring about himself when the one thing he cared more about than his bugs, seemingly stopped caring about him," Al said.

"But Sara didn't stop caring about him!" Nick jumped to Sara's defence.

"I know, Nick, but remember we are talking about the two people who might as well live in a silent movie when it comes to communicating," Al replied.

There was nothing to say, but agree with Al. After that the four very worried people became silent, engrossed in their own minds with thoughts of better times and a very uncertain future.

CSILV

Sara didn't know what to expect when walking into her estranged husband's room. She stopped dead in her tracks and her breath hitched with shock. Every picture she had dragged up in her mind didn't seem adequate when compared to the real scene in front of her. Grissom was lying on the bed surrounded by machines that seemed to be growing out from everywhere. And he was restless. That was the one thing that made it all too real for Sara. She had spent countless nights next to this man and when he slept, he was completely still.

Grissom's head was moving from side to side, his legs was kicking uncontrollably, the sheet was fisted in his one hand, the other still bandaged tightly to his chest to keep it immobile. Not that it helped much in his restless state. The biggest thing that got to Sara, apart from the machines that made her husband look like something out of a Star Trek movie, was his mumbling. She couldn't make out everything he said, but she heard her name repeated several times as well as the word 'sorry'.

"Try talking to him, maybe he'll calm down a bit," the nurse said as she went about checking monitors and leads.

"How's his temperature?" Sara asked shakily.

"It's holding steady. As long as it doesn't rise, there's still a chance that his fever will break sooner rather than later," the nurse replied. Sara nodded and moved closer to the bed. She tentatively reached out and stroked his sweat-soaked hair.

"Shh, Griss, I'm here," Sara spoke softly. "You have to get better soon, Bugman. There's people that want to have a very serious discussion with you. Al said to tell you that. Brass just wants to hurt those two boys that shot you. Nick and Greg, they're here too and I guess they need to see you get better as well. As for me, I need to thank you for saving my life. I want to slap you too, though for that stupid stunt you pulled." Sara was quiet for a few minutes, just stroked her husband's fevered brow.

"He's calming down," the nurse said softly. Sara had forgotten she was there; she was so focused on Grissom.

Sara nodded and leaned in closer and whispered in Grissom's ear, "I have to tell you how much I love you and that we have to try again. I can't see my life without you anymore; I don't think I can be happy without you. You have to get better, for me please."

Sara missed the nurse's small smile as she tried to focus on her notes, but the affection of the brunette for her sick husband was just too juicy. She couldn't hear what Sara had whispered to the man on the bed, but she did notice when the man on the bed's restless movements stilled.

As Grissom's movements stilled Sara looked into Grissom's face and smiled at the feverish blue eyes that stared back at her.

"Hey, welcome back," Sara smiled and gently touched Grissom's cheek.

Grissom slowly leaned his head into her hand and his lips formed a small smile. His voice was weak when he answered Sara, but it was the most beautiful sound she's ever heard.

"I love you too," and with that statement his eyes closed and he fell into a healing sleep.

**OK, how was that? Was it worth the wait? Press the button and let me know, please.**

***Caution: very long A/N to follow***

**I have to apologise (again), for taking so long. I actually have been working on this chapter for a while and between my brother (the medic) and my mom (the retired nurse), I tried to be as realistic and authentic as possible, but if mistakes popped up especially on the medical side of the chapter, please forgive me. **

**RL really killed me these last couple of months, first we had matric trial exams, then the final term was upon me and it was craziness in the form of learners. The final exams came up with marking and final marks had to be in along with me having to step up as temporary grade head. Just as I started working on the chapter again, I came on holiday to the Free State (and we won't mention the temperatures), then my oldest brother was robbed at gun-point and we had a real scare which threw me off my game a bit and after that it was Christmas and New year and eventually I got the chance to sit down and finish this chapter along with a one shot I've working on called Pirates and a new story I want to try. I wrote a story in the Criminal Minds fandom, but apparently it wasn't realistic enough and uncool, so I don't know where that one is going. OK, rant over.**

**Thanks to all the wonderful reviews for this story, this chapter is for cas2908 for being review number 50 and for leaving such a nice review as well as Calim11 for nominating this story in the CSI forever online fan fiction awards. Hope you enjoyed it.**

***Very long A/N over* **

**This story was written at the beginning of the year and was sent to my previous beta, and after waiting for a (long) while decided that I couldn't wait any longer, so while I am still looking for a beta, I am going to post this chapter and hope that the beta situation is resolved soon. I really hope it was worth the wait. **

**The next chapter is in progress and the Exhibitioner final chapter is also almost done. I really am hoping to post those ones as soon as I can. Please let me know what you think.**

**I don't own any of the characters, although I certainly wish they did.**

**Till next time, **

**CSIflea**


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